The Hetalia Pairing Cafe
by Dragonclaw-Phoenixstar1017
Summary: Here you can order any pairing of your choosing! Be it, yaoi, yuri, or het, so long as it isn't over T-Rated, you can order it!
1. Chapter 1

This story is for fun. I own nothing except the tiny island of Okami/ Hiro and the cafe. Everything else belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. Thank you for your time~.

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"Hello!" The young nation said into the camera Korea held. "My name is Okami no Shima! The Wolf Island! I have recently become the owner is this cafe, and I want to turn it into a new kind of restaurant! Here, fans can order their own pairings based off my friends, the other countries!"

"This is truly new," China said in the background.

"You can also order ACTUAL food here too," Hong Kong sighed behind the camera.

"Whatever is your taste in a pairing, we can give it to you," Okami said happily. "If you don't get your order right away, please wait. Our... Chef likes to perfect her work."

"So please, come on in and please wait to be seated and served!" Taiwan said.

"We have a lower waiting time than other restaurants," Vietnam said.

"So come on in!" Thailand finished.

"We'll be happy to serve you," Japan said somewhere in the room.

"And... Cut!" Okami told Korea. He nodded and shut off the camera. "Mister America was right. That duct tape really is strong! Kor-kun hasn't talked at all!"

Korea glared at her. He couldn't rip it off, either, as his hands were bound to the camera.

"I need more," China smirked.

"Do I want to know, China-Nii?" Okami asked.

"When you're a little older," He told her. Japan shuddered at the thought.

"Come on, Okami!" Taiwan said, pulling her towards the door.

"We have to get some...," Vietnam looked for the right word. "Ingredients."

"Alright!" Okami agreed, following the girls out the door. As soon as they were far away enough, Thailand ripped the duct tape from Korea's mouth. He gasped in pain before letting it subside.

"We're screwed," He said. His "brothers" all nodded sadly.

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Please feel free to review! Do not order through review. Please order through PM. Thank you~.


	2. The First Order

This story is for fun. I own nothing except the tiny island of Okami/ Hiro and the cafe. Everything else belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. Thank you for your time~. The first to be served is FiriHon and USUK FTW. ORDER UP!

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Okami looked over the first customer. She smiled at her.

"This way please!" Taiwan took her to her table. Okami shook herself before following.

"Konnichiwa!" Okami happily said. "I'll be your waitress today, hai?"

"Hai!" The girl said joyfully.

"So, what is your name?" Okami asked, pencil at the ready. "It's for the... Orders to address you as."

"Call me FiriHon and USUK FTW!" She laughed.

"What will you have today, then?" Okami asked, handing her a menu.

"Hmmmm, I'll have the DenNor, the USUK, some HongIce, the PruCan, and a side of Spamano," FH and USUK FTW said, handing Okami the menu back.

"I'll be right back with your order," Okami nodded, heading off for the kitchen. She barreled through the doors, seeing the Head Chef, Hungary, preparing a set of pre-orders. "I'm not asking. Here's the order."

"Thank you, Okami!" Hungary said. She quickly prepared the boys, before pushing them out the doors with Okami.  
"Now, have fun~!"

"Time to earn your keeps," Okami whispered to them. She pushed them towards FH and USUK FTW's table, just as another customer walked in.

"Okay, boys~!" FH and USUK FTW smiled brightly, a camera ready.

Denmark smirked and pinned Norway to the floor, kissing him passionately and removing his shirt. Okami squirted him with hot water from a squirt gun, telling him to keep it below a mature act. America pulled England close to him, playfully but passionately kissing him. Even though Hong Kong and Iceland outright refused to do anything romantic, Okami had bribed the. Hong Kong tripped Iceland, before dropping on him, biting his neck and rubbing his sides. Iceland moaned happily, but his body fought back.

"How much is this gonna cost me?" FH and USUK FTW whispered to Okami.

"About, maybe, $20, American," The youngest Asian responded, also taking pictures.

Prussia and Canada were fiercely making out, enjoying every second of it. Prussia nipped at Canada's neck drawing out moans from the Canadian's neck. Canada, in turn, rubbed Prussia's back and chest, making the taller and older growl. Spain and Romano, however, were being innocent. Spain was just giving Romano simple and caring kisses up and down his face. Romano pouted not making eye contact with Spain.

"How did you rope me into doing this!?" Romano yelled at Okami, who simply smirked at him, taking a picture.

"Smile~," Okami snickered cruelly.

"You ass!" Romano snarled, trying to rush at her. Okami simply smiled and squirted him in the face with the hot water. He crumpled to the ground, screaming out in pain. "Why the hell do you have that!?"

"It's very useful~," Okami grinned.

"You do look like a wolf!" Romano screeched.

"So I've been told," Okami shrugged. FH and USUK FTW stood up, smirking at the boys, who stopped all movement (aside from Romano, who continued to writhe around on the ground in pain). She turned to Okami, paying her $20 American, plus a tip of two dollars.

"Thank you very much!" She said, putting away her wallet. "This was the greatest experience I've ever had!"

"Thank you, as well!" The young nation said, passing the money to Vietnam, who batted away China's attempts to take it. "Please, come back again!"

FH and USUK FTW left the cafe, clearly happy with life. Okami looked over at Vietnam and China fighting over the money.

"Kami-sama," Okami sighed heavily. She took her squirt gun, refilled it, and mercilessly squirted her family members. Vietnam wisely moved out of the way. China, however, wasn't as lucky. He received first degree burns to his face. As he screamed out, all Okami did was sigh and leave the room, waiting for the next customer.

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Was this a good first chapter? If so, tell me in a review~! Also, please specify your orders a little more clearly, please. Thank you. PM your order to me~.


	3. Special: Pirate England

I own nothing but the Cafe and Okami/Hiro. Everything else belongs to Himaruya-san. This is Any-Clan's order.

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Okami dropped her head onto the table. It had been three hours since FH and USUK FTW left, and now the young nation had nothing to do. She would occasionally break up fights between Korea and Hong Kong by spraying them both with the hot water. Hong Kong had realized not to start any fights. Korea didn't. So now he had several burns across his body, all from the hot water.

"Why do you keep doing that?!" He yelled at her.

"Why do you keep acting like an idiot?" She yawned, snuggling up to her arm. Okami was tempted to have Japan shoot her once or twice in the back with the water to wake her up. However, she decided against it, seeing as Japan was her big brother, and he'd never do it willingly.

Then, the door opened. It was another customer, and Okami woke up immediately.

"Welcome!" She greeted, leading the customer to her table. "So, what's your name, Miss?"

"Any-Clan," She said, eyeing Okami. The young nation shuddered at the look, before handing her a menu.

"We currently have a special on pirate themes," Okami said, looking to Taiwan who nodded a yes.

"Okay," Any-Clan said. "I would like to place an order of a UKUS. With a special of the pirates, please."

"Right away," Okami said, taking the menu and speeding off to the kitchen. She told Hungary the order.

"Oh, I like this one!" Hungary smirked dangerously at the boys. America nearly screamed and England backed away. "I love pirates! This is gonna be a wonderful dish, I assure you, Okami-chan."

"I trust you, Hungary-san," Okami smiled. She handed a second fully loaded water gun to Hungary. "They try to run, use this."

"Oh, they won't run~," The older nation giggled, staring the two nations down.

"Just don't kill them, kudasai," Okami shrugged, leaving the kitchen.

"Hungary is the head chef?" Any-Clan asked.

"Hai," Okami nodded. "If you've seen what I've seen, you'll know, she's one of the best."

"One of the best?"

"Don't visit Mr. France's house," Okami stated simply.

"I'll take your word on it then," Any-Clan shrugged. "So, how long is this gonna take?"

"Depends on if America-chan and England-san are trying to run away," Okami smirked. "Hong Kong tried once, and I shot him with burning hot water."

"Isn't that a little too much?" She asked.

"Oh, no," Okami shook her head. "It's only hot enough to leave first degree burns. But, Korea's not always the thinking type, so he might end up with second degree burns."

"Ouch," Any-Clan said, looking back towards the kitchen.

"Not really," Okami laughed. "He deserves it. He acts like a fool too often."

"Order up~!" Hungary laughed, pushing England and America out of the kitchen. "Freshly picked, too~!"

"What does that mean?" Any-Clan whispered to Okami.

"I don't know, but go along with it," She whispered back.

England, who appeared and was obviously the dominant, pushing America onto the ground. America, unused to being the bottom, growled at England. The older nation tsked him, before straddling his waist. America snarled, and tried to hit England. However, the pirate simply grabbed his arm and pinned it to the ground. Before America could swing his other arm, England had grabbed it.

"I'm in charge now, love~," England cooed to him. America's blue eyes grew wide at the words.

"No, I'm still in charge!" America snarled, writhing in England's grasp.

"Don't lie to yourself now, love," The older chuckled, taking America's lips harshly. "You're no longer in charge, and you know it."

"Liar!" America tried to kick him. England instead stood, leaning over the younger blonde, kicking his legs.

"Behave!" England snarled. He sat back down on America's waist, only now just a little on his legs, too.

Any-Clan stared with great interest. She didn't have a camera, Okami noted.

'_Maybe she is recording it in her head,_' Okami thought quietly to herself. Just then, Okami noticed England starting to get a little out of hand. She simply squirted the hot water at him. This pulled him out of his persona entirely, while he yelled at Okami.

"Shut up!" She squirted him in the face. England howled in pain, dropping to the floor. America sighed and dragged him to the kitchen.

"Was that really necessary?" Any-Clan asked.

"We have a reputation to keep," Okami shrugged. "I don't want our restaurant to be considered one of those... Inappropriate places."

"Ah," Any-Clan said. "So, how much?"

"About $16 regular, but since you ordered the special too," Okami tallied the amount in her head. "$19 American, please."

"Sounds fair," Any-Clan shrugged. She gave Okami the money, and left the restaurant.

"Okay, twenty-two plus nineteen is..." Okami thought in her head. She pulled a calculator out of her kimono, typing it in. "Forty one dollars American in one day!"

"I don't want to be paid!" Hungary suddenly said. "I'm fine with my job without being paid."

"You're paying us," Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Vietnam said. Okami sighed heavily.

"You'll get paid every other week," Okami told them, walking off to talk to Hungary.

"Eh, I'm getting paid," Hong Kong shrugged, walking of to see if he could find Iceland.

The girls just stared at each other, before seperating for different reasons. Vietnam went to help China cook up some dinner for the Asians, and Taiwan going to find her boyfriend. Thailand just stood there with Korea, wondering what they just saw go on between America and England.

"We never speak of this again," Korea said.

"Agreed," Thailand nodded.

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Yeah, I add some humor to the mix. Makes it longer and maybe more interesting. Please send all orders in PM, and review your thoughts. Thank you very much~. Have a good night!


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